BRING BACK THE ‘STACHE. | MEN, MUSTACHES, MARVELS AND MISSTEPS

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I’ll say it– I’m a fan of the mustache.  Sadly, we saw the ‘stache fall largely by the wayside over the past few decades as pretty boys seemed fixated on primping, grooming, moisturizing, metrosexualizing, etc. in a vain and sissy attempt to one-up the ladies in the looks department.  Let the ladies be pretty.  Let the men be men.  I say — Bring. Back. The. ‘Stache.  Not the pencil-thin, or micro groomed razor-sharp manifestations that border on ridiculous.  Not the peach-fuzz, thin-lipped scummer ‘stache.  Not the Teddy Roosevelt waxed work-of-art on some hipster who lacks respect and context.  I’m talkin’ about an honest, unassuming mustache that’s there because it fits the wearer’s form and finishes him off– like dotting an “i”, crossing a “t”, or adding an exclamation point.

Now consider yourself warned — the mustache can cut both ways.  While it can add character and distinction, balance your features, etc. — it can also make you look like a total _____ .  So tread carefully, and be honest with yourself — because it ain’t for everyone.  Ask Sean Penn.

And feel free to send in your favorite shots — the good, the bad, and the downright ugly.

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Jack Nicholson in The Last Detail (1973).  I’ve always liked Jack with a ‘stache.  Menacing.

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Circa 1970 — Robert Redford on his Utah mountain ranch.  Nobody could ride the ‘stache like Redford.  Image by John Dominis

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Charles Bronson –1970’s vigilante badass who let his mustache do the talkin’

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Frank Zappa — Arguably the ultimate mustachioed rock star to ever walk the planet.  –Photo by Jerry Schatzberg, New York City, 1967

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You Wanted the Best , YOU GOT THE BEST! The Hottest Band in the World — KISS!

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Circa 1973 — Kiss band members applied their own makeup for this photo shoot, which produced the shot used on the cover of their debut self-titled album in 1974. — Image by © Joel Brodsky

I still remember when I was first introduced to KISS. It was 1978, my buddy Joey Bello was a little more ‘progressive’ than I was, and he was all about ’em– had the album covers tacked to his bedroom wall, could lip-synch all the songs, and wanted to be Paul Stanley somethin’ bad. So, Joey and I would hang out and he was pushin’ hard for me to be a KISS convert too, except I just wasn’t really feelin’ it.  Oh, I tried. I agreed to be Gene Simmons to his Paul Stanley, and I genuinely liked a couple songs– but I just didn’t get that into it, man.  The KISS stage lasted a couple months (if that) for me–  I thought, is this all there is? Makeup, blood, and tongue?  Yeah, they were groundbreakers and all, but something seemed to be missing.  I remember feeling inside like it was a classic case of ‘style over substance’– even if I couldn’t quite articulate it at the time.

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